My blogging is sparse at best, but when inspiration hits, I jump on here. For the last several Novembers I have found a pattern in some work with clients about wintertime fatigue. The problem (if you can relate), gentle reader, is not you.
The problem is the ongoing glorification of grind culture, hustle culture, and bootstrap mentality, and not least, systemic inequities and oppression. Our value and our validity as humans is so often incorrectly tied to productivity. In keeping up the same levels of productivity all year, we are working against our own biology. We are also working against natural rhythms and our souls can feel it.
Before we go further, Seasonal Affective Disorder is real. Increased levels of pain during colder months is real. Grief can certainly get triggered surrounding the clumps of holiday celebrations starting this time of year. All of these can involve declines in our mental wellness and general functioning.
Separate from those, or even in addition to those, many people report feelings of lack of motivation, fatigue, slower cognitive processing and just feeling "blah" during the winter months. I always recommend medical rule out of these symptoms first, because many treatable medical conditions can cause these or similar symptoms. Medical checkup providing no clues? You, valuable human, may be in need of rest.
I share with my clients that every year I have the same silly experience that my brain hasn't quite caught up with. Sometime in late December or early January here in the northern hemisphere, on a generic Sunday, I start my plant watering routine. My houseplants, many of which are not native to this area or this climate, who are in a temperature controlled environment year round, who receive regular water and nutrients, and who thrive for around nine months a calendar year, start to droop. Their leaves may brown on the tips. I may lose part of the plant. Every year I look at them puzzled and blame myself. How have I fallen short in their care? What additional work do I need to do? How can I do more? I love my plants.
Around this time, because of experience over the years, I also have been able to start telling myself "Oh yeah. It's winter. I'm not doing anything wrong. They will look like this for a while, and then starting in the spring, they will come back." And they do. Every year. Because it's not my lack of anything I've provided to them, it's their cycle.
My outdoor plants are much the same. Some years when I have been able to do less to insulate my perinneals, when we get extended periods of hard freezing, or when winter seems to drone on well into March, I worry that it may have been too much for them. Their dead,withered leaves can't possibly do anything to feed that plant when the sun does shine. But those plants as well, for the most part, start to pull from well stored energy deep under the soil, to reawaken in the spring. As much as I miss their vibrant colors in the winter, they wouldn't be able to be so vibrant without their seasonal pause.
But how do we achieve this in a culture that praises constant output, constant doing, and often increasingly more? We can start by correctly identifying what HAS to be done. Sometimes our brains are not intially accurate at this and it takes practice. Do I HAVE to respond to every single message in a certain time window, or at all? Do I have to say "yes" to every opportunity that comes my way? Do I have a comfortable way to communicate a "no" that values the source but doesn't accept the opportunity when needed? Do I have the ability to prioritize the areas of my life that uphold my values? Sometimes we do, and sometimes we have to prioritize things that don't but also that keep ourselves or our family sheltered and fed. These are not insignificant decisions to make and they take from our bank of energy. We also sometimes have to do work to begin to appropriately acknowledge ALL we are doing. Do we have to be the perfect employee/student, family member, friend, etc, etc? Do we acknowledge a space for "good enough"? This one is particularly hard for me and I am also a work in progress. Are we working to actively reinforce to others in our lives, especially younger people, that we value them completely separately from their productivity? If not what can we change to also make this process less work for future generations? I would be remiss to also not mention that various groups of people currently and throughout history have had even less space to rest, less or no ability to rest, and less support in resting. This post is especially for you. Rest is resistence and I acknowledge your need to rest and your right to rest. Much acknowledgement and love to Tricia Hersey and all the other Black women who have created and strengthened the rest as resistence movement. I support and validate your rest especially, even though you don't need my permission to do so.
I know I may be giving you more to do here, and your first act of resistence may be to ignore all of these recommendations in lieu of a type of rest you really need. If so, good for you! You are on your way. If you would like any additional sources on this topic, here are a few that you might choose to explore:
And for children, a tale to introduce seasons and hibernation:
I'm not linking any of these to sellers because I encourage you to find a local bookseller and support them this winter season. If you are in my area of Lee's Summit, Missouri KD's Books is a great one, and are able to order most books even if they don't regularly stock them. Our local library systems also have many of these, and if they don't, are very open to request for new books.
Practicing priorities and rest with you during these darker days - Cara
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